I have a shameful secret to share…
Something which used to leave me bent over in anxiety and sleepless through the night drenched in cold sweats fearing it would be revealed.
I’m going to come clean with you though, but first…
Let me give you a little context.
You ever notice how certain moments in life are like an emotional sledge hammer, hitting and hammering in an attempt to get through to you?
You know, some event that just screams in your ear, something has gotta change?
Well I am a pig-headed stubborn individual, that is for sure, and I wasn’t listening until that emotional sledge hammer knocked me flat on my butt.
The Amazing Bliss of Willful Ignorance
A young guy, I was riding high, living the life I imagined I was entitled to, ‘playing’ big shot while turning a blind eye to the financial mess that I was sitting on.
The fundamentals of money weren’t sexy enough for me to take notice, and to make matters worse I had involved everyone I cared about in my doomed real estate ventures.
I cannot explain the shame that I felt when the bottom fell out of the real estate market, taking with it every dollar I had saved, and every dollar of savings of the people I cared about, and even worse, the majority of the retirement savings my parents had squirreled away over decades of hard work.
I had failed everyone I loved, and it was one hell of a soul searching moment…
There was an ugly bankruptcy, my credit would take years of rebuilding before a bank would even let me in the door, and to this day, many major banks will not even let me open a checking account.
It was the best thing that ever happened to me…
Its taken nearly a decade but I worked to pay back every penny I lost for those I loved, and more importantly it turned my financial priorities upside down.
I had some serious learning to do about how money works, and this time, on the financial journey I didn’t skip over the parts that are not traditionally considered sexy!
I learned everything I could about alternative financing for people with bad credit scores, and vowed to never fall into that situation again.
You might have passed your financial crisis and are dealing with the consequences of bad credit, or you could be going through it right now, feeling as if the whole world is falling directly on your head.
I say with conviction:
- You will survive
- You can endure
- You will make it
You are more than your credit score and you will get through this time, turn the corner and can transform your financial life.
It will not be easy, but what ever is that is truly worth it.
It will take work and effort, but I’m here to remind you, if you are facing financial challenges which look insurmountable, you will get back to the financial life you deserve to live.
Still Want to Know My Shameful Secret?
Many years later. Many lessons learned.
Thousands of hours of studying…
Fighting to accomplish, help people, and live a life of significance.
I’m still the same clown, deep down, inside…
What do I mean?
- I still desire the ridiculously expensive car
- I still have urges to blow all my money on fancy things
- I still imagine throwing all my responsibilities into the sea
For nearly every financial principle we ALL KNOW are the right decisions, I’ve got a little voice in my head telling me to do the exact opposite.
However… I may not be a different person than I was during my financial meltdown in my youth, but I have learned from some of my mistakes, and have very different strategies for dealing with my impulses.
In fact, I have very different strategies when faced with how to use and what to do with my money.
I haven’t changed, deep down, inside.
I just have a very different relationship with my money…
You could even say it used to be a rather abusive relationship, I cared only for my needs.
Now I know money deserves my attention, care and consideration.
…Why did I share what used to keep me up shivering at night?
- If you are in a financial tight spot… feeling like you are hanging by your nails from a cliff and the idea of having all the money for your bills feels as likely as a moon made of cheese…
- If you are feeling like failure is the only option… feeling like you are absolutely alone, and afraid, living a life you never made…
- If you are out of gas… feeling you are on emotional empty, having dug deep to make things work, then dug deeper, and fear you’ve given all you’ve got.
I say again with conviction:
- You will survive
- You can endure
- You will make it
You see, it’s my suspicion, amid all the motivation and inspiration available… We know, somewhere deep back in a dark closet of our mind…
Somewhere so deep we hide even from ourselves… You know where.
Something we know, but nobody ever talks about.
FAILURE IS AN OPTION.
It’s the unspoken option… never mentioned when people are sharing their favorite financial strategies, debt reduction plans, retirement savings schemes and other advice.
However… it’s as much a choice as your other options.
Ultimately, you can only guarantee failure if you don’t take action to realize your dreams. You can guarantee you will drown in debt, if you take no action to address it. You will always be short on money, if you don’t try to increase your skills and expand your income.
At The Edge of a Cliff, It’s Time to Soar:
If you were looking for just any other how to make more money, or shortcut wisdom to getting one up on your personal finances article, I hope I didn’t disappoint you terribly here.
Rather, I hope the very personal story and hard truths I shared here may drive home with the impact of a nail into the brain and take root if you ended up here at the right time in your financial journey.
Winning the money game is ultimately about knowing yourself, your impulses, and what makes you tick. Winning the money game is about becoming a master decision maker and learning from mistakes we all inevitably make.
Know thyself. Know your destination. Take action. Know the stakes. Make it happen!
You CAN do it.
But only if you try, and never.. ever.. ever.. ever —ever give up.